I bought her a unicorn
paint by numbers.
She’s so talented.

Where’s your pain?
There is none.
It’s just a tumour

I told him three times
to no avail
you’ve got baggage

For your Christmas present
I’m going to tattoo your eyebrows.

She’s psychic
but she can’t save herself.

You’ve got to remember
they’re not the full quid
or maybe they are and she’s just pushy.

Who do you fight with?
Judith.
She was always a redhead.

Do you know who he is?
He’s not your relative.
He’s the dirty CEO of Westpac.

You’ve got to stop
claiming as a relative
anyone whose name starts with H.

No one ever called me Meredith.
Why?
Because you called me Tookie.

He made me so happy.
Young,
Great at bowls

He had his jumpsuit on.
Covered in leaves.
Hula! Hula!

She’s going to Bali
but there’s so much variety at home.
What about Wyong?